Taking a break


1.11 am

Trying to stay awake despite the bootcamp to learn coding process. This is new, from the view of taking things seriously. I thought I had a dateline to keep, but when you work for an institution where yours are not yours, reality checks in when it starts to burn out.I remember a promise made to a partner, on the future plan of our imaginary venture startups. It was a great idea, and to have him on board is clearly promising. I took a break in between task A and task B (on my day job) and iron out plans and ideas to keep myself reminded, and to refresh what I really want to achieve. I never lose focus, I just dont have the time. Or when it’s not really important, I lose interest. The coding is a great thing, the rest are just something you walk by without giving much attention to the detail.

Photography, how about it? my wife asked during commuting back from work. That, also, because I don’t have time for it. I wont lose focus on that important part, neither lose interest on it. I love photography to the part I know what I want to express, without giving much weight on technical issue, or possessing a high end tool to perform it. Perhaps the best reason I never upgrade since I got the tele lens, kit lens and the flash. I do things my way, to my own exception, without further asking for approval if it fits today standard of popularity or acceptance to the art of photography. Capturing moment, they said, is what important. Surprising moment? Awkward moment? Moment you will treasure? I dont see the fine line in all those. I don’t see why I have to do things right so people will look at me like I am suppose to be a teacher, to teach everybody how to do things right. When friends or random people asked what they need to pursue the hobby, I would simply say “Have fun”. Then the silent moment. If they expecting further explanation, I will just say “Open your eyes and see the world”. People dont always get this. Mocking is what they accuse of me. Reason why I never get the attention. Good actually, so nobody will expect what is my next move. I could be just sitting in a corner, to myself, and people wouldn’t find a reason to care more. After all, it’s not my job to amuse people. Move on.

No, really. Don’t try to be a superstar. They all ‘die’ fast from the attention.

Be a turtle. Slow and steady. Live longer. Tell that to your shutter.

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